December 2010
6 posts
18 tags
Dear Susan, Fifteen weeks living in a full body cast has naturally given me some time to reflect on what transpired at your wedding. In retrospect, I finally accept what you were screaming at me that fateful evening. How I quote-unquote “ruined your dream night” by “attempting an ill-advised Headspin” which resulted in me “breaking my neck” and “profusely spraying blood on your...
Dec 31st
9 tags
Dec 22nd
9 notes
11 tags
DO: Limit yourself to two drinks and avoid controversial topics of conversation. DON’T: Lift a Champagne flute, tap the side of the glass with a utensil until the room is silent, and then yell “I’M THE LIZARD KING” while exposing your genitalia. - - - - DO: Remember that the function is a business event and not a casual house party. Conduct yourself professionally at all times. DON’T: Incite a...
Dec 15th
12 tags
Dec 3rd
2 notes
7 tags
Dec 2nd
2 notes
12 tags
Dec 1st
2 notes