TRICK # 243: “Mind Meld”
Belly up to a hotel bar and scope the surrounding scene for a group of attractive women. Suavely order them a round of complimentary drinks. Nothing expensive. Remember: you’re still working primarily as a bus-boy at Red Lobster. When you receive a wave of gratitude, head on over to their seats. Engage flirtation using the following time-tested routine: “I couldn’t help but notice we just experienced a deep emotional and spiritual connection from across the dimmed room, something so phenomenal we can’t possibly ignore it.” Disregard any confused, uncomfortable sighs, and barrel forward. Single out the most attractive female in the group and speak solely to her. Wink confidently no fewer than 72 times while performing. “Have you ladies ever heard of ESP? ESP is the ability to read minds. Believe it or not, the Gods of the cosmos have granted me with just this skill. I have written a phrase, a prediction if you will, on a piece of paper. Go ahead and think of any phrase in the English language. When you have it, let me know and I will read my prediction aloud.” Give the woman a moment. When she has a phrase in mind, pause for dramatic effect, unfold your scrap piece of paper, and shout “YOU WILL DIE IN LESS THAN 45 MINUTES!” at the top of your lungs for everyone to hear. Kiss her hand gently if this prediction is correct and offer your phone number. In the off chance your phrase does not match the woman’s and patrons begin pointing at you in horror, bail on the illusion. Exclaim, “What?! What?! Don’t judge me, she’s the monster who fucking thought it!”
